Men of the Cloth pt 2

Pious deeds

He shakes my hand while looking deep within me. It’s like he’s trying to tell me something subconsciously that he would never dare utter from his mouth.

I’m not used to that kind of lingering eye contact. My eyes are usually glued to my shoes as I walk except for the times I have to feign the confidence of a mogul for business purposes.

His handshake is firm, and manly, like his hands: just rough enough.

His smile is sincere and comforting and by force of habit I find myself staring at his mouth and not his eyes. He has nice lips.

His laugh is a familiar chortle: The kind of laughter that passes freely through all my walls.

His laughter is contagious and I let myself go.

We stand there for a moment,

Not caring about what’s going on around us.

Hands still entwined,

Our eyes dancing through each other’s minds,

His crucifix in his pocket by his heart,

And my heart in my throat.

© 2010 Brian-Paul Welsh

My last post on gay men that serve the Christian church got me more responses than I'm used to from a wide cross section of people that had different experiences with and opinions on the topic.

Some were vehemently opposed to gay men taking up positions of leadership in the church as a principle because they believe it is an inherent and undeniable deception that corrupted the core of their oath to serve the church and its congregation. It was the first lie that snowballed into a deeper spiritual deception that negated their moral authority. They feel that such men should either find churches that are more embracing of alternative sexualities, or just be regular members and worship like the rest of us. Part of me suspected some deeper internalized homophobia attached to that position where subconsciously they believe their homosexuality is some sort of unpurgeable spiritual malady that precludes the person burdened with it from assuming any type of leadership role lest it be discovered that they love the peen as much as they love the Lord.

Others agreed that homosexuality should not disallow one from assuming a leadership role in the church with one friend relating an anecdote of an encounter he had with an older, straight, priest. The priest said the real problem people have with gay priests/pastors is that "they're so damn good and that intimidates a lot of people". I can totally understand where he's coming from with that position. Gay men are the most zealous, spiritually connected, articulate, charismatic and expressive religious leaders one could find. Why do you think it's always the loony closet cases that are at the forefront of the anti-gay evangelical movement? They get shit done, and very well at that! Take it from me, the borderline agnostic, you haven't felt moved by spiritual rhetoric until it comes off the tongue of a gay priest/pastor: Proselytization has never felt so good! And therein lies the danger. Predatory priests (pardon the alliteration) will literally charm the pants off you. Yes, Bishop Eddie Long, I'm talking about you.

Many of these spiritual leaders are the personification of the great deceiver that they warn about in their sermons. The devil is in their eyes, and I have seen it.

But what of those that have the calling to serve and that do have a tremendous spiritual gift that ought to be shared and who are a genuine conduit for a higher understanding but who by circumstance are part of organizations that would want nothing to do with them should their sexual proclivities be discovered?

Are they to forever live in secrecy, experiencing juvenile sexual relationships with passers by, never able to mature romantically so as to be able to speak from experience when they counsel parishioners on their own relationship problems?

Are they to do what is expected of them and enter marriages with naive women whose life long dreams have always been to marry a preacher no matter how 'polished' he may be?

Or would it be better for them to leave these institutions of hate, no matter the inconvenience this may cause, and in honesty and sincerity enter houses of faith that embrace all of God's creations from every colour of the rainbow?

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