This spate in suicides

Over the past few weeks the press has been inundated with reports of gay man after gay man taking his own life because it just became too much to bear.

The latest, and perhaps most poignant (and ironic) was the suicide of New York activist Joseph Jefferson.

What is most distressing about this particular suicide, as the cited article highlights, is Jefferson's last status updates on Facebook which read:

"I could not bear the burden of living as a gay man of color in a world grown cold and hateful towards those of us who live and love differently than the so-called 'social mainstream'... Belonging is one of the basic human needs, when people feel isolated and excluded from a sense of communion with others, they suffer. I have been an advocate for my peers and most importantly youth because most have never had a deep emotional attachment to anyone. They don’t know how to love and be loved in return. The need to be loved can sometimes translate to the need to belong to someone or something. Driven by that need….. Most will do anything to belong."

Author and activist Nathan James wrote in response via a note on his Facebook profile:

"As an advocate for LGBT youth, Mr. Jefferson surely made a positive impact on those he met and counseled. But this same nurturing and enrichment he offered to others, was absent in his own life to such a degree, that he felt the only way to deal with the pain of his existence was to end it. "

As I've said before, I cannot rationalize suicide. I cannot empathize, or sympathize because as obsessed as I am with my own legacy, I believe suicide nullifies all aspects of one's achievements up to that point.

There is really something very funky in the air to be causing all these suicides, but I do not believe this is the way to send a message to anyone.

There is little dignity in death, worse at one's own hands. That kind of resignation is not indicative of the strength and power within each of us and for an advocate to give up, which is what I believe his suicide represents in this instance, does not augur well for the movement, especially in precarious environments such as ours in Jamaica.

If first world activists are throwing in the towel just what are the rest of us to do? We often have to deal with worse every day yet we maintain our dignity, heads high, chest forward, fierce and proud.

I'd like to think there were other factors that contributed to this particular suicide and the others preceding it, but at face value it just appears they were all tired of the stress of being gay in a non-supportive social environment.

We must not give up the fight.

Suicide is not the answer.

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Kanye West's "Runaway"

Kanye considers himself a soldier for culture. Let that simmer for a moment.

The latest mission for the self-appointed bastion of culture is a film titled "Runaway":

In creative expression there is always the danger for the creator to get lost in the concept or the metaphor. I'm not sure what kind of psychotropic hodge podge he was enjoying at the time of the conception of this 'film' but it is clear that his ego (and a cohesive plot) are the only things that have 'runaway'.

The film is too self-important. Trying too hard to be epic.

The cinematography is awesome, and I understand the themes he was trying to evoke. The harsh juxtaposition of hard and soft, innocence and vulgarity. I get all that.

But I've also seen it before, it's a silly flick called "Splash".

This is no "Thriller", hell even Thriller is cheesy if you really think about it. But Thriller never took itself so seriously... Runaway shut down all the Viacom controlled media outlets, imploded in the Twitterverse, and raped the innanets with its pretentiousness.

The irony in this is palpable: Kanye resents the media for turning him into a demonic egocentric asshole, yet he relishes in the attention he commands as he gets all of us to watch, critique, and assess his brain farts for artistic integrity and substance.

Stop trying so hard, Kanye. Pretty pictures are only interesting for a moment.

Truly good art doesn't need to be explained.

Better luck next time.

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What a true leader sounds like.

Bruce, please take note.

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Oh, Bruce...

I notice that he is deliberately more reserved than his last sojourn into the liberal foreign media with Stephen Sackur on the BBC.

His rhetoric seems reasonable at face value, and it is evident that he has learnt his lessons from the HARDTALK faux pas, but it really is just a shallow politically correct response to those in the know.

This ambivalent approach to homosexuals may ring true to those in his social circle but it certainly is alien to those on the streets.

Shout "battyman" in Half Way Tree and run. See how many people run with you like Labradors searching for the duck. "Battyman" really is a magic word that illicits a fight response in Jamaicans.

I've deliberately restrained myself from mentioning that organization that claims to speak on our behalf and I hope to continue doing so, but I couldn't help but think of them when I read this article from my fellow Jamaican LGBT blogger that was a flashback to 1982.

The tone of this article is certainly more evolved than some of the rot I've seen in the local papers since I became self-aware, and also, the approach of the GFM from what I've gleaned thus far has not left a bad taste in my mouth.

I think this movement needs to be resurrected to counter the foolishness that permeates the political landscape, on both sides of the rainbow divide.

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Madea speaks out

Tyler Perry recently appeared on the Oprah Winfrey show and spoke candidly about his childhood and the abuse he endured from adults.

Necole Bitchie offered this recap:

An emotional Tyler Perry was on the Oprah Winfrey show yesterday and opened up for the first time on television about being abused and molested three times before he even reached the age of 10. During the hour long segment, he revealed that his father once beat him so bad that he blanked out for a few days.

Til this day, I don’t know why he did it. But I remember him cornering me in a room and hitting me with this vacuum cleaner cord. He would just not stop. There are all these welts on [me], the flesh that’s coming from my bone, and I had to wait for him to go to sleep,” Tyler says. “When he fell asleep, I ran to my aunt’s house, and she was mortified when she saw it.

Tyler Perry also revealed that he was 6 the first time he was molested by a neighbor. They were building a birdhouse together when the man put his hands down his pants.“I’m thinking, ‘What is this?’And I felt my body betraying me, because I felt an erection at that age.”

Not too long after that, Tyler was molested by a male nurse that he knew from church.

“[The man from church] used God and the Bible against me to justify a lot of the things that were going on. It was so horrible, and that was my first sexual experience, with this man performing oral sex on me as a boy.”

When Tyler was 10 years old, he was molested again by a friend’s mother. The woman put her son in the bathroom to take a bath and when Tyler was about to leave, she appeared in front of him wearing lingerie. She locked the door and when he tried to leave she said:

“You want to go home? Here’s the key? I come over to get it, and she puts it inside of herself and she tells me to get it. So I—I get the key, but I feel my body betraying me again because I felt an erection. This is so disgusting, you know, what these people did to this little boy.

The woman pulled him on top of her and Tyler had his first sexual experience at the age of 10.

Tyler went on to tell Oprah that the molestations left him confused sexually.

How could it not? I knew I liked the little girls in the neighborhood, but this man was doing something to me and my body kept betraying me. It took me all of my 20s to figure out what this was that this man had given me to carry inside of my heterosexuality that did not belong to me. This is why so many men will not talk about this—the shame of having to admit that.

Til this day, Tyler has to deal with the aftermath of being molested and it has even affected his relationships. He recalls a time that he was unable to perform because a woman locked the door before they became intimate and he had flashbacks of his friend’s mother. Another time, a woman he was in love with walked in wearing lingerie and it triggered the day he was molested again.

“All of these people had given me something to carry,” Tyler says. “I think that everyone who’s been abused, there is a string to the puppet master, and they’re holding you hostage to your behaviors and what you do. At some point, you have to be responsible for them. What I started to do is untie the strings and chase them down to where they came from. And I was able to free myself and understand that even though these things happened to me, it was not me.”

During the show, Tyler admitted that he has forgiven his father but he doesn’t want him to be a part of his life. After his father heard him talk about the abuse, he sent a message to Tyler that said:

“If I had beat your ass one more time, you probably would have been Barack Obama.”

Unreal.

Read more: Tyler Perry Opens Up About Being Molested & Abused On Oprah | Necole Bitchie.com

Now, I have had a lot to say about Tyler Perry over the years as I genuinely believe that his Madea character is a personification of all his deepest latent desires. Madea is Tyler and vice versa. Nothing is wrong with that, but evangelical christians such as Tyler and Sister Donnie McKlurkin consistently use their own experience at the hands of monsters, the resultant sexual confusion, and their "healing" through Christ, as justification for campaigns of self-flagellation otherwise known as 'reparative therapy' for the 'spiritual ailment' that is their homosexual affinity. The very notion that homosexuality can somehow be cured is repugnant to me.

They cite their history of molestation as the impetus for this iniquitous appetite, and are at pains to point out that after purging themselves of this unclean spirit of homosexuality, how fulfilled they are, and their success is testament to how pleased God is with them.

I have never been molested (If I was maybe it's still buried in my subconscious somewhere which probably explains why I find this Jazmine Sullivan performance so insipid) and so I cannot really relate to the idea of my "body betraying me". Is that like an inconvenient fart in the company of your biggest crush? Perhaps I am not sufficiently sexually fluid for this to happen to me.

But as much as I believe the experiences were traumatic and life-altering for Tyler, and he certainly fulfilled his destiny in spite of these short-comings, I am having a hard time coming to terms with his belief that homosexuality was something foreign that was introduced to him by his molestor.

The blind and deaf know Tyler Perry is gay. Am I to believe that the 'spirit of homosexuality' is a migratory duppy that is passed from person to person like some sort of demonic STD?

I believe the turmoil of sexual identity that church men like Tyler Perry and Donnie McKlurkin (and Craig McNally, but that is another post) face is a hell they have created in their own self-loathing minds.

I believe that molestation or not, they were destined to be gay men: such is their intrinsic programming. If anything their abuse and the 'help' received from the church has damaged them beyond repair. But what I find evil about their re-programming is the proselytism aspect. They make it their mission to reach out to other vulnerable people that are struggling with shame of their sexuality and the desire to be what 'God wants them to be'. Their arguments are compelling, and very palatable. "Look at me! This is where God wants you to be too!" Yet they are all miserable underneath it all.

Hats off to Tyler for his honesty, and I genuinely wish him all the best. I hope he finds happiness and someone to share his tremendous success with.

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When (supposed) Metro met (alleged) Hetero

Kanye West (centre) has always pushed the envelope for what is acceptably masculine in the hegemonic environment that is Hip Hop music.

He has made remarks in relation to manhood and sexuality that no other ambassador of black masculinity would ever even fathom.

He is the victim of vociferous side eyes and lyrical jabs yet keeps on kicking! He really appears to be a well-adjusted heterosexal male that is free of all baggage! Imagine that!

Even after public humiliation...

... and subliminal outings there is still no love lost between 'Ye and the gay community.

The reasons are clear:

1/ Kanye is also a servant of La Creola, Queen Bey-Yaki.

2/ He believes no good Tranny should go to waste

3/ He's prone to artistry usually reserved for queens like McQueen

4/ And lastly, he may just be a genuinely evolved human being that understands his own shortcomings and is just trying to be a better person, while making mistakes along the way.

This interview gave me a lot of insights into who he is as a person and how his mind works.

I can appreciate that sort of sincerity, and so should you.

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The twirlathon continues....

The rabid ninja beaver has just released the video for his dance smash "Yeah 3x" and chiiiiillllle.... that peach getup toward the end is very Lagerfeld in St. Tropez if you catch my drift.

I wish him continued success though. He truly deserves to be recognized for his talents and not his propensity to bite.

Chris Brown - New Music - More Music Videos

And since you can't talk about Breezy without mentioning his (former) favourite chew toy: Barbados' Next Top Model has also released a mash-up video for "Who's That Chick" as part of her newly inked endorsement deal with Doritos.

Who's That Chick (Day/Night Versions) from Jon ALi on Vimeo.

Of course by now you know that none of this compares to the manna from heaven that was Willow Smith's "Whip My Hair" video premiere. Complete with cameo from Leyomi Mizrahi, the video was responsible for the outing of hundreds of thousands of closet cases as it induced voguing convulsions in all that heard it.

Queen Willow is set to perform the song on Justin Bieber's day job (Ellen for those that don't know) in early November.

Here's the video in its entirety.

If you're wobbling please don't watch.

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Man Seeking Man

Don't tell me you've never imagined this scenario while trolling the dating sites.....

Vintage Eddie Long

This brings a whole new perspective to the notion of the holy spirit coming upon you.....

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So.....

Rihanna's viral leakage continues:

Her video for the epic twirl-a-thon that is "Only Girl (In The World)" just hit the innanets and chiiiiillllle.....Geppetto never made a better puppet!

It's like she has an orgasmic suppository in her happy place. She really has improved on the depth of her facial expressions. From abused to euphoric. Guess her frame of emotional reference doesn't go beyond her bedroom.

No bueno RiRi, no bueno.

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The paradox of HIV infection

Dear Sir,

I write with reference to a letter by W. West published October 13, 2010.

In it he asks a very poignant question which I have also pondered from the other side of the political fence. That is, given advances in technology, medicine, and economics, why do Men who have Sex with Men (MSM) continue to be disproportionately affected by HIV and AIDS?

The human rights approach to advocacy marries increased infection rates to prohibitive laws and non-supportive social environments. In countries such as Jamaica where the gay man is often interpreted in law as essentially an un-apprehended criminal, this pariah status is said to increase vulnerability and risk-taking behaviour. The gay man is typified as a disenfranchised, wandering spirit, flitting from place to place, and bed to bed, in search of the stability that neither church, state, nor family is willing to offer.

The panacea as proffered by most socially progressive agents of change is to repeal these prohibitive laws, such as the Buggery Law as it exists in Jamaica.

The existence of the law is in itself archaic and repugnant and is a reflection of one of our many societal odes to the dark-ages. The belief is that if such laws are removed then work can begin outside of the veil of secrecy and risk of prosecution, to empower and inevitably save the lives of this vulnerable community. That is a reasonable cause and effect assumption that has caused the ire of the faith-based community which feels entitled to its hatred of sexual minorities and the support of such laws that perpetuate their alienation, demonization, and social exclusion.

I am an advocate for the repealing of the buggery law from a public health perspective, but moreso from a human-rights point of view. Just as Lawrence v Texas demonstrated in the USA, buggery/sodomy laws cannot be supported in constitutional law as they unfairly isolate particular citizens and place them in harm's way by virtue of who such laws affect.

I feel in this politically correct world, for fear of offending those affected, we have softened the sting in the message that the practice of unsafe anal sex with multiple partners places participants at great risk for HIV infection, and that gay men that engage in such practices are at higher risk of contracting the disease. The problem was that this admission in the early days of the discovery of the disease led to the unfortunate moniker G.R.I.D.S. (Gay Related Immuno Difficiency Syndrome) that politicized the issue and served to reinforce the notion that the disease was divinely inspired as punishment for gay men's hedonistic lifestyles and that their suffering and death was just recompense to a displeased god. This prejudice has apparently influenced the medical response to this issue among gay men in Jamaica. At present, there are very few places that can and do offer a safe space and medical care for MSMs and as a result many are walking around oblivious to the danger coursing through their veins.

The reality, in my mind, is that we must mature as a people to be able to separate the political football that is "homosexuality" from the fact that there is a ticking time-bomb that is being pushed further and further under the carpet on which we are all standing. That is, the rate of infection among Jamaica's MSM and what is being done to address it.

I refuse to adopt the cynical perspective one can infer from W. West's letter, past ones included, that creates the impression that gay men are infectious disease vectors that are hell-bent on self-destruction. I believe that curbing the spread of the disease is a two-way street with the state recognizing and protecting sexual minorities' rights to exist freely in society and have unbiased access to medical care, and also the sexual minority groups taking responsibility for themselves and the risk they place themselves in by being sexually irresponsible.

In this instance I believe we must look within, at our own unique variables, and not necessarily to the outside for answers. Each country that is grappling with the paradox of increased infections in the midst of increased prosperity has underlying factors that need to be explored in order to come to a better understanding, while not demonizing those who become infected.

I am sincerely,

Brian-Paul Welsh

Another letter I submitted to the editor today. I've been having a dry spell in terms of publication with the local papers but fingers crossed.

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Yup, I'm just about to sign out of life...

Remember when you were a kid and you thought you were Michael Jackson? (Usher, Chris Brown, Omarion, Justin Timberlake et al still think they are)

...well this is what the next generation will be looking like, thanks to Nicki Minaj

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Weeping for my brothers and sisters.

I've already explained that I have a deep spiritual fascination with Haiti and the following clips are part of my yearning to understand and broaden my perspective. This article has also revealed so much to me as it is really a caricatured reflection of how politics and society interact in Jamaica.

Fascinating interview with a brilliant mind:

Then there was this article and resultant interview:

and this intriguing one as well:

I have always seen Haiti as Jamaica's long lost twin. Separated at birth, but fraternal by genes. These insights into its fractured, limping state of existence give me a remarkable sense of deja vu: I see Jamaica in Haiti and Haiti in Jamaica.

I have an overwhelming sense of sadness when I learn of the exploitation my brothers and sisters endure with such quiet dignity and these revelations galvanize my misanthropy for the manipulative capitalists that operate the neo-colonial agenda.

Haiti for Hatians!

"Bay kou bliye, pote mak sonje."

The giver of the blow forgets, the bearer of the scar remembers.

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"Show me your friends and I'll tell you who you are..."

Can Heteros and Homos truly be platonic friends?

I'm not talking about fruit flies and their gay pets (that's a whole 'nother post).

I mean breeders and glowstick twirlers.

I don't think it is unreasonable for gay men to be even a little suspicious of the intentions of friendly straight men, especially when it is mutually understood which side of the pendulum their respective dicks swing.

I believe most gay men are are accustomed to and accept their pariah status among "the guys" as their manhood was forfeited the moment they salivated for the peen. Personally, I am slightly uncomfortable making new friends with str8 men as I usually wonder what angle they are playing, for they MUST be working some evil agenda for them to deliberately befriend the personification of a social stigma in this society.

Are they closet cases looking for quick sexual gratification?

Are they trying to figure out your story so they can publicly lynch or otherwise humiliate you?

Or is that suspicion and distrust an expression of internalized homophobia that precludes men from expressing fondness for each other and forging close platonic/fraternal friendships?

Lately I've found myself examining and re-examining every nuance, every glance, every kind word, and every genuine smile for evidence of zestyness. It is unfortunate that I would do this because there are many honest, open-minded, accepting, sincere people out there for whom sexual orientation/preference is merely incidental, and not a critical quality that is a deal-breaker if it is not homogeneous among all friends and acquaintances.

As sad as it is that we must be so suspicious, the reality is that we live in a society of ginnalship and deception where people smile with you and claim to have your back then proceed to stab you in it and turn the blade (still smiling with you as they do it).

We have to keep an open mind just as we ask others to keep an open mind for us.

We can't allow cynicism to prevent us from making good friends, and neither should we allow internalized homophobia and latent shame to prevent us from letting our light shine.

I think people can appreciate honesty more than anything, and I also think that being true to oneself is the most powerful advocacy tool and does more to change the perception of gay people as sexually depraved deviants than any rhetoric possibly can.

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Dead men tell no tales. Or do they?

This is a wonderful message coming from Ellen DeGeneres that was inspired by the Tyler Clementy suicide at Rutger's University.

Beautiful, except that Tyler Clementy was not the victim of bullying at his university. Humiliation: yes. Victimization: Definitely not. At least not how I interpret it.

What his house mates did was fuckry, in its plainest terms, and they are deserving of harsh disciplinary measures from the University administration, further, the guilt from knowing that their insensitivity led to the death of this young man will be on their minds forever. That in itself is enough punishment in my mind. However, the notion that they could face a maximum of 10 years in prison is downright absurd.

Strangely, I find myself agreeing with the rhetoric in an editorial published by the Rutger's University student newspaper that accuses the news media, bleeding-heart celebrities (like Ellen), and the gay rights movement of exploiting Clementy's suicide and warping it in keeping with a deeper self-interested agenda.

That Clementy would kill himself because he was publicly humiliated by his room mate is terrible, yet I have a lingering cynical feeling behind my sympathy.

I am 25 years old with a very strong sense of self, and have been unashamed since my late teens. Perhaps that is why I find it hard to empathize with the suicide option many same-sex loving teens choose. In Jamaica it is simply not much of an option. Be fierce, or be killed. This is why Jamaican LGBTQ are so razor sharp. If one is soft, these animals will eat you up.

People have been fucking with me since the 7th grade. My best friend threatened to out me at 13 years old, and I felt my life was about to implode, yet I never contemplated walking in front of a speeding bus. I anticipated having to run for my life when the "man dem" (that anonymous, marauding mob of teenage testosterone) heard I had fantasies of over-stuffed sausages and having tea with Dorothy, but never did jumping off a bridge enter my consciousness. Maybe because in Jamaica suicide isn't exactly presented as an escape clause.

I was the subject of public and private humiliation, gossip, and ostracism for most of my high school career. I was outed by a classmate at 16 years old in a personal development class and my usually verbose and witty teenage persona was frozen with shock at the randomness of this assault; being the naked fat kid with the micro-penis in the room full of Abercrombie models that pointed and laughed is somewhere I can still project myself to. The sting of that first tear welling up in my left eye as I struggled to absorb this symbol of defeat back into my body is still very fresh. But again, I would not allow him to break me. Ironically, he eventually killed himself after a dark downward spiral from marijuana-induced schizophrenia.

I have been where Tyler Clementy has been, and I know others have been through much worse because of the sense of entitlement the bullies have to their cruelty.

But his death should not be used to score political points and as a call to arms for queers worldwide to take on bullying. Instead I believe same-sex loving teens should be encouraged to find their inner strength, love themselves for who they are, and not be ashamed or afraid. Hard to say when you're the victim of daily torture and ignored by complicit instructors and others in authority but it is a message that needs to me heard, and heard often.

That is why I like this "It Gets Better" YouTube Campaign:

I feel it is much less politicized and much less likely to be construed as such.

I don't like the runaway train, "we're here/we're queer", middle finger to the world, approach taken by many queer activists as I feel that, especially in environments like Jamaica, it does more harm than good- often irreparable damage.

I'm much more inclined to moderate appeals to people's sensibilities. Of course, this is informed by my latent belief that activism operates in a world where most people are going to believe whatever bullshit they want to, no matter what logic or sensible arguments you present. People would rather die with their silly beliefs than engage with your alternatives because they feel that your alternative notions are anathema to their very identity. So fuck it, let them keep their stupidity to themselves.

But if you can get one impressionable jackass or sheep to jump the evolutionary pond and progress from a hoofed bullshit regurgitator to a bi-pedal critical thinker then that is commendable.

We'll never fully understand why Tyler Clementy felt that jumping off a bridge was the best way to deal with his humiliation. Maybe there was great shame associated with his sexuality and this public display of his darkest secret was too much for him to bear. But he is not here to explain it, and it is not our place to create a campaign on suppositions and crucify these young people as an example to other insensitive people.

If it was a woman who had her tryst broadcast for the world to see and she killed herself afterwards would we be talking about a hate crime or looking for a deeper root cause?

This represents my problem with suicide. Even with the most comprehensive of suicide notes there will always be unanswered questions because in the absence of facts, gossip reigns.

Suicide is an injustice to the deceased and in this instance, a quagmire for the greater cause of tolerance.

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Oh ye of little shame

More details are emerging from this Brady v Golding brouhaha. A letter delivered to the Hon. Prime Minister by Harold Brady's attorneys has leaked to the press coming out of Brady's defamation suit against Bruce Golding. The letter details Golding's collusion to deliberately obscure and obfuscate the Government's involvement in the hiring of the MPP Lobby firm and also points to the responsibility Daryl Vaz had in relation to financing the retainer fee and other funds for the firm.

This is yet another revelation that really is no news at all. We already knew that Bruce was the puppeteer of this puerile game. He just doesn't have the courage to confess.

Even his original confession with crocodile tears and desperate, begging, prostrated stance was empty because behind those reddened hazel eyes were the crucial facts that he chose to exclude in order to save his political career. He instead decided to sacrifice the esteemed, bumbling attorney. Harold Brady initially appeared content to take the blame, and make it seem like an honest mistake that betrayed his decades of experience as a lawyer...that is, until Bruce Golding, in his annoyance that the issue refused to die, added vitriol and fuel to the smoldering embers of this scandal, at which point Brady's tongue started to jump and his frock tail began to sway and he said "enough is enough!"

Bruce Golding has no shame, no integrity, no moral authority, and therefore no right to the position he clings to so longingly.

Why doesn't he resign?

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You can't tell me nothing.....

Do you know those people whose confidence far surpasses their competence?

Yeah, those delusional bundles of joy.

As irksome as they may be in their insanity, I still believe there is even a morsel of wisdom to be gleaned from their condition.

Very often we second guess our abilities, or don't speak up for fear of being ridiculed for being wrong.

The real problem with reticence is that in the absence of an irrefutably solid contribution, bullshit assumes a prominent position.

This is especially true in the Jamaican political culture where the dregs of our society have somehow found themselves into the most prominent of positions in public life.

We know who they are.

We watched the seed of political power germinate in their puerile brains on UWI campus and said nothing. We watched them lick ass and climb the social ladder until they were appointed Senator or shuffled into Parliament with a no-brainer electoral constituency.

We watched them shuck and jive and razzle dazzle our largely selectively ignorant population into believing they were men and women of substance, integrity, and intellectual grit who were poised to transform this nation, with all its flaws and untapped potential, into the pearl of the Caribbean that it once was; alas that was never on their agenda.

Most are simply self-interested nincompoops trolling along seeking the next opportunity for wealth and popularity.

One of my favourite quotes of all time comes from Bertrand Russell and he says :

"The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts."

This has been my mantra for years now but I am yet to live the words and use them as an impetus to step up and stop this cycle of regenerated stupidity.

I wonder what I am waiting for.

And this does not necessarily mean stepping into representational politics as I really do not believe I am of that ilk, but it means marketing myself as a public intellectual (LOL) and making my voice be heard so that as the jackasses learn to bray with a learned lilt I can proffer sensible arguments to counter their regurgitated rot that has been passed down from the other asses in the herd.

I foresee a time in the not so distant future where the invisible hand will arrange for me to have a public throwdown with one of my politician frenemies on an issue of national importance, hopefully human rights.

I'll be forced to restrain myself from dipping up under my frock for all the dirty, nasty, iniquitous sexual acts we engaged in (together) on one of UWIs esteemed halls of residence while he does his best to glibly rubbish my liberal stance.

He'll be reaching for red herrings, I'll be reaching for my crotch knowing the instinctive discomfort this will cause him as his member begins to grow in response.

That, I feel will be my baptism under fire into the Jamaican political landscape.

Is Jamaica ready for a public figure that is fully at peace with his/her sexual minority status, and even celebrates it?

Guess we'll have to wait and see. But after all this all I keep hearing in my head is Mahatma Ghandi's immortal quote:

"We must become the change we want to see".

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Sonic Revelations

Here I sit on my Upper Saint Andrew balcony, sipping on Limeade made from Limes blown to the ground in the most recent Tropical Storm, puffing on a cheap convenience store bought cigar (I'm not a smoker but I love the smell of low grade flavoured tobacco after a long day of work) and tapping away at my computer trying to find some intellectual stimulation amidst the plethora of young flesh telling me to cum their way.

When suddenly....

I am informed that Mariah Carey has decided to record a new Christmas Album and has already released a new single.

What's that Mariah? Trying to stay relevant are we?

I get it. Do what you have to do.

But I cannot help but be even a tiny bit peeved that she decided to record a Christmas Album when she already has a classic Christmas album that no other vocalist can (or would dare to) touch. Her voice is nowhere near its 90s strength or clarity and that has been demonstrated ad nauseam with all of her latest offerings. I don't expect anything nearly as powerful as her near perfect rendition of "O Holy Night", neither do I expect anything as charmingly catchy as her version of "All I Want For Christmas Is You".

What I do expect is busy, over-produced tracks beneath distractingly layered and auto-tuned vocals.

I hope that she would have learnt her lessons from the last stab at singing ballads on her last album and stick to the up-tempo, less vocally challenging ditties with cutesy melodies and clap-appeal.

I'm just glad she's not doing a dance album (like everyone else seems to be doing).

That would probably make me hate my life.

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Religious musings...

Dear Sir,

Patrick Gallimore's rambling diatribe (published September 27, 2010) in defense of Devon Dick's religious arrogance is symptomatic of a flawed belief system that actively discourages critical thought from its followers and instead proselytizes a religion of rote, fear and blind obedience.

That is the only conclusion one can draw from the circular arguments he presented with the hopes of getting atheists to see the light.

There is no light in his convictions, only the darkness of fearful servitude to the malevolent boogey man as invented by the architects of Christianity.

I don't need to be a slave to the Christian doctrine to have the spiritual cognizance to know that this world and all its inhabitants have a greater purpose as watched over by an invisible hand with greater knowledge than our own.

I refuse to disregard the millenia of wisdom gained by ancient cultures in favour of a zionist, big-stick religion of xenophobia. There is much greater truth than exists in the Bible and much greater love and acceptance than the present Christian manifestation will tolerate.

It is insulting to my God-given intelligence for Gallimore, and others that share his beliefs, to expect a grown man with a functioning brain to buy the "take it on faith" argument. That is an answer you give to children when you want them to stop annoying you with questions you don't know how to answer. There's nothing wrong with saying "I don't know" but the Christian notion that their system is the final authority precludes them from this sort of humility.

None of us knows all the answers but I'd rather hold my most cherished personal convictions with even a small amount of doubt lest I am wrong, which I always maintain as a possibility.

To do otherwise would be silly and an insult to the intelligence that we are all blessed with.

I am etc,

Brian-Paul N. Welsh

Yet another of my (many) unpublished letters to the editors of Jamaica's two major publications. I have to give thanks though, because the other day a friend of mine studying law at Oxford University asked me to collate my published letters for her to use in a presentation and when I was finished scanning the net I found over a dozen solid correspondences that received many praises (and garnered me my first death threats). I felt good.

I'm totally obsessed with my legacy as I have this constant fear of dying young, before realizing my full potential, and so things like this blog are my attempt at immortality should something unfortunate happen.

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