"Show me your friends and I'll tell you who you are..."

Can Heteros and Homos truly be platonic friends?

I'm not talking about fruit flies and their gay pets (that's a whole 'nother post).

I mean breeders and glowstick twirlers.

I don't think it is unreasonable for gay men to be even a little suspicious of the intentions of friendly straight men, especially when it is mutually understood which side of the pendulum their respective dicks swing.

I believe most gay men are are accustomed to and accept their pariah status among "the guys" as their manhood was forfeited the moment they salivated for the peen. Personally, I am slightly uncomfortable making new friends with str8 men as I usually wonder what angle they are playing, for they MUST be working some evil agenda for them to deliberately befriend the personification of a social stigma in this society.

Are they closet cases looking for quick sexual gratification?

Are they trying to figure out your story so they can publicly lynch or otherwise humiliate you?

Or is that suspicion and distrust an expression of internalized homophobia that precludes men from expressing fondness for each other and forging close platonic/fraternal friendships?

Lately I've found myself examining and re-examining every nuance, every glance, every kind word, and every genuine smile for evidence of zestyness. It is unfortunate that I would do this because there are many honest, open-minded, accepting, sincere people out there for whom sexual orientation/preference is merely incidental, and not a critical quality that is a deal-breaker if it is not homogeneous among all friends and acquaintances.

As sad as it is that we must be so suspicious, the reality is that we live in a society of ginnalship and deception where people smile with you and claim to have your back then proceed to stab you in it and turn the blade (still smiling with you as they do it).

We have to keep an open mind just as we ask others to keep an open mind for us.

We can't allow cynicism to prevent us from making good friends, and neither should we allow internalized homophobia and latent shame to prevent us from letting our light shine.

I think people can appreciate honesty more than anything, and I also think that being true to oneself is the most powerful advocacy tool and does more to change the perception of gay people as sexually depraved deviants than any rhetoric possibly can.

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